(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer:
“Damn f**s.”
Gay Man:
“Excuse me?”
Angry Customer:
“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man:
*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer:
“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer:
*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner:
“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife:
“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner:
“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
